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I am so hopelessly in love with Jenny Lewis. It is getting a little bit ridiculous actually, because almost every day all I listen to all day is JENNY LEWIS/RILO KILEY over and over and over. I know almost every song by heart by now, why donapos;t they have these songs at Karaoke?? Going to see her this Saturday and I hope it is amazing. Pretty sure that I am going alone, which is fine, that way I can escape when she is dont and not have to sit through Conor Oberstapos;s band if I am not into it. I might give it a chance though, no promises.

I could probably babble on and on about how happy I am lately and how my friends are amazing, and how this week I have plans every night ( I think ) and how fall is my favorite season and I am trying to find perfect boots and halloween is coming up really soon and on and on and on, but I guess I just summed it up for you instead.

<3s
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A frequent�conversation with The Witch over the past month has gone something like this:
TW: What do you want for our anniversary?
Me:� apos;Spacedapos;
TW: No really, what do you want?

Then last night at work,�I get a phonecall from deep inside the bowels of Wallyworld
TW: Iapos;m getting dog food and kitty-litter.�Did you want Spaced or not?

To be fair, she was trying to come up with something a little more meaninful to celebrate�our first year together, but we be poapos; and sheapos;s�so busy lately�that she has�no time to devote�much attention buying gifts.

The end result is that I am now the proud owner of the best sitcom from across the pond since The Office.

Now I just have to track down a copy of Black Books.

Oh, and in return I�now have to buy her a chain for the black agate pendant I bought her.

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I�just got back from my appointment with Dr. Scianna in DeKalb. I got wonderful news. First, he does agree with Dr. Rubach,�I�canapos;t let that thing stay in there. If I do it will increase my risk of infection and cause a lot more problems. He scoped my sinuses and he has it attached to video camera and he projects in on a big screen tv for me to watch as well. This is the first time I�have seen what this "mass" actually looks like with my own eyes. Itapos;s HUGE As heapos;s looking around he says to me, "Well I can definitely say itapos;s not brain" (cuz thatapos;s what was in my sinues last time he looked around in there). He says heapos;s 99 positive that itapos;s nothing more than an abnormally large polyp. He says it needs to come out. In any other patient he would preform the surgury and have it taken care of in a matter of days. But surgury is not an option for me. He said that surgury would put me in too great of a risk for another brain fluid leak. He said that once you have one CSF leak you are always at a higher risk for another one and surgury would magnify that by 1,000. He says that especially with my unusual history, he is not willing to take that chance. He said that nobody should be performing any surgeries in my left sinus cavity unless it is 100 nessisary and all other options have been exhausted. So, he says he wants to go with a sterioid treatment. But, not like the ones I was taking before...oh no. He says he wants to go with a highly concentrated sterioid injection. It would be a 3 part treatment. He would literally take a needle and stick it into my head and inject a concentration of steriod directly into this polyp. I would then come back 6 weeks later and he would do it again. I would then come back in another 6 weeks for my final injection. He says after 3 rounds of direct sterioid injections�it should be completely gone. He says he wouldnapos;t be a good doctor if he didnapos;t double check is diagnosis. Before he starts injecting steriods into things he needs to make 100 for certain that itapos;s just a polyp (injecting sterioids of that magnitude into my brain would be bad). He wants to see my CTapos;s from RUSH and he said he can tell from there. If the CT is not clear then he will send me for an MRI. If he finds itapos;s just a polyp we will start with steriod injections. If he finds its something else then weapos;ll talk about other options then. He said he is doing this as a precaution and he really thinks its nothing more than a large polyp.

This is great news. No surgury. Now granted Iapos;m not excited about getting a needle stuck into my face on 3 seperate occasions. That doesnapos;t sound the least bit pleasurable. But....anything is better than surgury. He also told me that a side effect of such a treatment can result in blindness or blurred vision. He says he highly doubts that will happen but before I agree to it I need to know what the risks are. I am willing to take that chance. So, in�about 6 months (when all my treatments are done) this whole thing can completely be put to rest. Thatapos;s awesome and I�canapos;t wait

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Who: Eclipse, Raenef
Where: Eclipseapos;s quarters
When: 02/11, xx11
Rating: PG?
Summary: Eclipse has been acting strangely.

Raenef walked into Eclipseapos;s quarters without ringing the chime. He had the access code, and it wasnapos;t an unusual occurrence. But he was a bit apprehensive. Eclipse had been...uptight lately.

It had actually been going on since the encounter with Integra. This perplexed Raenef to no end. It was obvious that Eclipse wanted the security chief; so, getting to have her should have made his mentor happy, relaxed. It was supposed to make him easier to live with, less likely to check Raenefapos;s lessons...

The lights were low when he came in, tablet in hand.

"Uhm, Eclipse..."
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I went to tutoring three times now, so Sanada everyone can stop bitching about me slacking off. The tutor even helped me with something in English that the teachers never bothered explaining And it made sense

Movie marathon~ Cloverfield was pretty good, I saw Silent Hill besfore, but it was still good. Then someone started changing things, and I cared more about making out with Bunta and Jackal than about the movies.

What did we do Saturday? I forgot.

The marathon wasnapos;t awful. I guess cause Iapos;m used to all the laps Fukubuchou always gave me? Meh, I was winded by the end, but not wanting to die like some other people I could mention but wonapos;t.

I finally get to play a match today, yes But Iapos;m with Tachibana in doubles.

...I bet he still hates me over what I did. I mean, look at what I did I donapos;t even remember it, just getting angry and then Him taking over Iapos;ll never stop paying for what Heapos;s done to other people.

Hey guys, I wanna enter the talent contest, but I dunno what I should do. I can balance a racket on my chin for almost 2 minutes, you think thatapos;s good?
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The Heartapos;s Plea

�

iapos;ve fallen deep for the words you speak,
and even deeper for the unspoken words you keep.
spare me the pain, how canapos;t i love you
when there is no reason for me not to?

coincidence? i care not if it was,
you stayed with me apos;til dawn from dusk.
you relieved me of death, i owe you this soul.

my existence.

my self.

my beingapos;s whole.

tell me how on earth canapos;t i love you,
when an earth without you is death anew?
any distance between us is my heartapos;s torment,
but sadly, it seems, this love is not meant.

no doubt you are perfection personified,
iapos;d want nothing more than be by your side
for a minute, an hour, a day, or a night.

my air.

my water.

my gentle light.

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Iapos;m turning more skitzofrenic, paranoid and closer to a deep depression by every day that passes. Guh. I canapos;t handle this. I�keep bringing myself down in ways that are so insane. Like I convince myself that Emma doesnapos;t really love me since I donapos;t hear from her, but�I�know thatapos;s not the case. I keep telling myself that Iapos;m gonna end up alone in the end and I avoid Ola cause�I canapos;t deal. I keep finding myself staring at things for several minutes for no reason. And I keep falling asleep everywhere. Thereapos;s something wrong with the air in my school right now which makes all students really tired as soon as they step foot in the school (seriously, it hasnapos;t always been that way).
Graham Coxon was on TV earlier, was a nice surprise. =)
My back and stomach hurts an insane amount today which has caused me to ask Malin to shoot me several times in school today. The sad thing is that I only had three lessons. Iapos;m seriously thinking of skipping school tomorrow. Or Iapos;ll go home early for some reason, cause�I canapos;t deal. I canapos;t. Itapos;s all too much. I hate this.
At least Johanna complimented me today on how my tee matched my eyes and that she liked it. That was the only positive thing to happend today. I wrote a review on The Nightmare�Before�Christmas for Norra�Hallands-newspaper. Havenapos;t written it in on the computer yet though.
I have loads of schoolwork I�should get done but I canapos;t bother to do so. Iapos;ll see if I skip school tomorrow or not. Guh. Guh. Guh.

Shoot me?
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After yesterdayapos;s disappointment, we were back in Disneyland again. Today was a much better day. We managed to take a couple of rides with Enzoboy and Lynn and my mum made another round of shopping in the park.





Enzoboy had a great time in the park. He enjoyed the special Halloween Parade and Disney Jubilation Parade. He would scream whenever the Disney characters marched past I was also surprised that he was not afraid to take the rides. He took the Buzz light, Peter Pan and Pinocchio ride and he love them all I am looking forward to the day when he grow taller so that he can take the more exciting rides like the Space Mountain with me





Just before we left the park, we bumped into the 7 dwarfs and Enzoboy was really excited to meet them He looked gogeous in the pictures with the dwarfs We ended the disneyland trip with a family picture.







We went to Ikekuburu for more shopping and dinner before we headed back to our hotel. As this was the last night in Tokyo...there was a huge challenge ahead of us to pack our bags now

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